He Needs You
by Randomwriter87
Summary: Peeta returns to District 12 after the war to the only person that can make him whole again but can she be there for him the way he needs her. Rated M for a reason. Multi-Chapter Fic, plot lemons.
1. Make It Stop

_The story takes place after the rebellion ends, mostly canon but with a few creative liberties. Meant to be a multi-chapter angst/romance/lemons filled fic. Here it goes, this is my first shot at Hunger Games so we will see where it takes us. Check out my other stories, I like the dirty stuff. I had just recently accidentally posted a chapter from a drabble I was working on, this is the real deal. My old account RandomWriter05 has some stories on it as well, wanted to start anew. Enjoy and lots to come._

Katniss sat at her kitchen table idly stirring her tea as if she had some intention of drinking it. Her mind was wholly distracted on what was to transpire that afternoon. Today was the day, it was the day Peeta made the journey back to what was left of District Twelve. She genuinely could not decipher her feelings on the matter, half of her had built up this somewhat unwanted excitement, to see his face after all this time she had to admit it had inspired a hint of buzzing optimism in her otherwise extremely bleak existence. On the other hand she had hoped it wouldn't be so soon, she herself had only been home for 3 months and she was far from stable. It was only recently she had finally made it through an entire day without breaking down in to a shaky mess in the corner of her bedroom, but that couldn't be counted on – not even a little bit.

She knew it would be different for him than it was for her. She wasn't captured by the capitol though she saw more than her fair share of evil during the war. She had lost count the number of times she got lost in thought of how he was doing, how he didn't deserve it, that it should have been her trapped in the dungeons not him. She was vaguely aware of the practices, if she was being honest she only had the slightest idea of what he might have gone through but even that small set of imagery was enough to bring a lifetime's worth guilt flooding through her at any moment. She physically shuddered as she thought about it that morning. Every time she tried to shake the pictures clear in her head a new set would emerge, this time it was her own demons flashing across the back of her eyelids.

She felt physically ill as she saw her daily nightmare reoccur for the first time today. Tears welled up in her eyes but she fought them back, she hadn't actually cried since the day she watched her sister die, she was far too broken to let the tears actually fall because she knew if they started to fall she might not be able to stop them. Her, like all the others had seen so much death and destruction in the past months it was a miracle that the ones who survived the actual rebellion were able to survive the memories of it after. Even though she would never show it she was grateful for those who persevered and went on with everyday life when she clearly could not. At least not yet.

She heard a light tap on her front door but it echoed throughout her whole home as it was sparsely furnished. She ignored the knocking knowing full well it was Haymitch coming to check in on her as he often did and that eventually he would just walk in. She was right, she smelt the booze in the air before he even reached the kitchen.

"There she is" she heard him say over her shoulder before he came to sit down across from her. "and how are we doing on this lovely morning" he commented dryly.

Katniss glanced at him then to the window. Winter was just coming to the end and from her seat she could see the first leaves blooming on the trees outside, she used to love it when the seasons changed but now she felt nothing.

"Listen sweetheart," he broke the silence knowing she never would. She hadn't spoken more than 10 sentences to him since they had returned to Twelve but she seemed to tolerate his existence so he made sure to be around just enough. "today is going to be hard" He paused "for both of you."

This brought her attention back to him, still saying nothing out loud but her eyes – as sad as they were – spoke enough. Haymitch took a swig from his flask, "I know you're aware of the torture he's been through"

She looked down to her tea trying her best to not let those images re-enter her mind. "and what they did to him it terms of his memories of" he paused yet again "you."

She closed her eyes this time, she had been briefed on his progress shortly after his release and needless to say it was not promising. She had seen a video of him watching the news, when she appeared in a story about district 13, he had picked up the chair and threw it through the screen. She knew he'd be broken but to be the source, whether real or not real, almost killed her. This wasn't how this was supposed to play out and it kept replaying over and over in her head. Remembering the kiss on the beach they had shared during the quarter quell, one of the last happy moments she can recall in her life. She hadn't thought about that day in a very long time. She was brought out of her thought when she heard Haymitch speak again.

"Now it's not all bad, I've spoken to his doctor" he waited for some type reaction from her but she was back to staring at her now cold tea.

"He's come along away Katniss, but there is still a long way to go. His doctor believes that being in 12 around some sort of familiar surroundings will help remember what's real. He believes you are a big part of that." Another large gulp from his flask and a glance in her direction, he waited a long time hoping she would say something. When it was clear nothing was coming of it he finished "I'm picking him up at 3." And with that he got up to leave.

Katniss thought hard about what Haymitch had just told her and from the way she was interpreting it was that she needed to help Peeta. She was dumbfounded, she selfishly couldn't even begin to imagine how to help him, how to be there for him after everything that happened after the quarter quell. She badly wanted to but knew she couldn't even take care of herself let alone be there for Peeta, who for all she knew might not even be able to look at her. She didn't want to be that source of pain again, she couldn't.

"I can't" she heard her voice crack, barely above a whisper.

Haymitch stopped and looked at her. She could feel his eyes on her and for the first time in long time she acknowledged him by turning towards him. All she could do was shake her head no, once again holding back tears she knew could never fall.

"You can't avoid it forever" was all he said as he disappeared down the hall.

It wasn't until she heard the door shut that she exhaled, she didn't even realize she had been holding her breath. She placed her head in her hands and did everything she could from breaking down this early in the day.

She sat like that for hours, she must of drifted off to sleep laying her head on the table because a reoccurring nightmare of watching firebombs drop on the people she loved caused her to scream herself awake. It was these nightmares that left her in a constant state of exhaustion, and with the cold weather the last few months being locked up inside unable to hunt she was slowly losing what little was left of her mind. When she thought about it though she knew that even if she wanted to venture out during the first months home she wouldn't be able to bring herself to face the looks from the surviving residents of 12, or even concentrate well enough to successfully acquire any game. She was a mess and a lonely mess at that. The only people she saw were Sae and Haymitch and actual conversations were virtually non-existant.

She glanced up at the only clock in her empty home, it was 10 to 3. This time It was her body that reacted without giving her mind time to think, she found herself splashing water in her face from the kitchen tap and grabbing a coat from the hook near the kitchen before she knew it she was exiting the front door on her way to the train station. For the first time in a long time her mind was blank focused only on moving, watching the ground beneath her feet. She knew why she was doing it but for the life of her she could understand _how. _She flashed back to her reoccurring nightmare, this time remembering something different, the last firebomb to drop before she startled awake was one for Peeta, she saw his bright blue eyes turn black – it was the first time he'd been in her dreams in months. She needed to see him… even if he didn't see her.

She was moving quite quickly and within minutes she could see Haymitch ahead of her on his way to greet Peeta. This caused her to slow down and put some space between them, she finally lost him as he walked into the only terminal serving all of twelve. It was right in the middle of what was left of the town, they had rebuilt the market and many homes had been reconstructed but the rubble surrounding the main buildings was ever present. Katniss looked around, she hadn't seen this part of town since she arrived back. Greasy Sae and Haymitch had seen to make sure she had everything she needed so she wouldn't need to venture into town. She had to concentrate on the train station as to not get lost in what used to be her hometown and how what she saw now looked nothing like it.

She told herself she would only stay for a moment, just to see how he looked, see if he was doing ok. She glanced around and could see a small crowd forming, it wasn't a secret that he was returning and of course the people of Twelve would want to see one their victors return alive. Another pang of guilt shot through her, she should be standing next to him as had so many times before.

She heard the train approaching and moments later come to a halt. It was only a matter of seconds before he would come into view, Katniss felt a buzz spreading throughout her body,she wondered to herself if it was excitement or fear. It was a day of firsts for her and she couldn't help but realize where the source of this energy was coming from and how long it would actually last.

She heard the group surrounding the station begin to chatter as people exited the train, there were very few passengers as travel throughout the districts was still quite limited. Peeta was the last to exit, Haymitch right by his side. A spatter of cheering broke out and even from a distance she could make out the fake smile he used to put on for the victory tour and the capitol fans.

She scanned him in his entirety, he looked lean and a bit taller. Older but tired all the same, you could see in his body language he was struggling but doing his best to save face in front of the people who knew him before it all happened.

She made eye contact with Haymitch first, she silently pleaded for him stay quiet about her presence. To no avail however, he turned to Peeta and whispered something. She saw Peeta lean over to listen and not a moment later his striking blue eyes flashed in her direction. She practically froze as their eyes met, she saw the boy she knew in those eyes but they quickly changed to those of a stranger. She could see his jaw clench from over 100 yards away.

They hadn't seen each other in person in over a year and she had always hoped it would be under different circumstances. But throughout the war while everyone was dropping around her she knew he was alive, even if it was barely alive and now he's standing in their hometown. They've finally returned.

Before she knew it, the moment was over and Peeta was descending into the crowd and walking in the opposite direction.

She stood frozen for a moment longer, wondering what had just transpired before her. She knew now more than ever how difficult it would be to survive his presence for herself let alone be able to help him in any way. Now they were to live within earshot of each other, Haymitch was right she couldn't avoid him forever even though right now all she wanted to do is forget the look she just received from the boy she would have given her life to save a year ago. She slowly made her way home, passing what was to Peeta's home no more than 50 yards from hers in Victor's Village.

She shook off her coat as she entered her cold and empty home, she looked around and realized just how bare it was. It definitely didn't look lived in but she assumed you couldn't really call drinking tea and having nightmares living. She curled into a ball on her couch, it was late afternoon now but she was exhausted yet again. Questions flooded her mind, will he able to hear her scream every night through her dreams? Will he able to look her in the eye again? Will she hear him scream? Does he have his own nightmares? They questions continued for hours before she finally drifted off another night of restless sleep.

The next day would bring it's own set of new challenges, as if surviving the war wasn't enough. She just wanted to make it all stop.

_This is the first chapter, lots thoughts but don't worry I like plot with my lemons. More to come soon. _


	2. Welcome Home

_Just getting started but it's going to some amazing places. Smut is the best when the build up is real. Thanks for the quick reviews, I always appreciate the love. Don't worry lots to come very soon, hoping to get a new chapter up every other day or so. Stay tuned and enjoy. Remember Randomwriter05 my other handle check out my others as well (not hunger games though)_

Peeta sat on the train and stared out the window. His mind was calm but his heart was pre-emptively racing, he was finally heading home, or at least what he used to call home. He knew when he arrived that what he would encounter would be nothing like that place he left before the quarter quell, but he couldn't even trust his memory at this point not after everything he had been through in the dungeons of the capitol. He watched as the trees past by and in the distance he could see smoke rising from the homes of District 12. It was then that his mind kicked into high gear he thought all of the things he didn't have to deal with while he was "recovering" and now they would be thrust into his daily life.

His family was no longer in District 12, that hadn't made an effort to keep in contact but he couldn't blame them - they probably thought he was dead. He knew Haymitch would be there, one of the only people that wasn't tainted in his new memories, it had seemed the Capitol didn't view him a threat in the least therefore leaving him untouched during the brainwashing. Peeta was thankful for that, while Haymitch wasn't his absolute favorite companion in the world he was satisfied with the fact that he knew who he was and what he had done in the past without question.

He also knew a few others, like Delly and Greasy Sae but they were acquaintances at best. Then there was Katniss Everdeen, just the thought of her brought forth so many mixed emotions it physically hurt him to envision. He knew she was home, his doctor had made it extremely clear that in order for him to recover fully he would have to face the one thing that was still breaking him down. The capitol had done quite the job on him in regards to her. In one moment he would have a flash of them holding hands and waving happily in front the capitol fans and in the next second his mind would be flooded with images of Katniss laughing in the background as he was being tortured. He honestly couldn't remember what was real or not but he knew the way both images affected him and there was blatantly a more favorable one and he prayed every day that it was the first one.

He saw the station grow closer and soon the train pulled to a stop, he nearly hid in a side compartment to avoid this all together but knew he had to face it at some point, better now than later. He grabbed his one bag of belongings and made his way to the exit, he was slightly relieved to see Haymitch leaning drunkenly against a wall as he made it through the automatic doors.

Peeta reached out to shake his hand but Haymitch embraced him in a tight hug, briefly of course but enough to get the point across that he was happy to see him.

"Welcome back boy" he said with a genuine smile on his face.

Peeta grinned "I wish I could say I'm happy to be here" he gritted.

"It's better than the capitol" Haymitch added.

He was right, even after the war the Capitol was tainted. Everywhere he turned there was terrible memories and potential triggers for flashbacks and episodes, at least he couldn't link anything in District 12 to the hell he encountered over the last year. Well, except maybe for Katniss but that wasn't her fault according to all of his handlers and doctors who tried their best to exonerate the heroic Mockingjay. They tried to explain to him every day that the negative memories attached to the 'girl on fire' were all false, but they felt far too real for him to ignore.

"yeah I guess" was all Peeta managed.

They exited the train station to be greeted with a decently sized crowd with bright smiles on their faces as they witnessed their prodigal son return, a survivor, a victor, he was finally back. He did his best to smile and wave and genuinely appreciate the love they were giving him but it all felt foreign. He scanned the crown for people he knew, he saw a few and was happy to see that they had made through as well. But he didn't see _her_, it wasn't until Haymitch leaned in and whispered that he knew she was there.

"To your right, one hundred yards." Haymitch turned back to the crowd and looked for a path to lead Peeta through.

Peeta flashed to his right, where he immediately made eye contact with the one person he knew he was sent home to interact with. His heart sped up the second he locked gazes with those grey eyes he knew this was going to be one of the hardest things he would have to do , to find out ultimately what was real or not real. Were the feelings he had towards in the good memories real, or the bad ones. Was it love or was it hate? He honestly couldn't tell and it killed him, all he wanted was the truth and not matter how many people told him he knew he could only get it from her.

He had to admit to himself however that he could have remained in her gaze for hours without regret, but he knew he had to get out of there before it was too much too soon, he just wanted to get settled into his new home and deal with the hard stuff later.

"Let's go" he mumbled sneaking one last glance in her direction.

Haymitch led him through the crowd and the long way through town giving him what he could of a tour before heading towards Victors Village where he would share grounds with himself and Katniss. When Peeta entered his new home felt a little at ease. It was a nice two story home, it was well furnished and he was happy that the first thing he thought of when he entered was that he could start painting again, add some color to the greyscale that encompassed the home. He scanned the kitchen, it was well equipped and he was once again happy because he could start baking again, even it was just for himself. It was a far cry to the small room they allowed him in the Capitol while he was recovering he felt at least a bit of freedom here, hopefully the feeling would last.

"Settle in, I'll have some food delivered and tomorrow we'll go to the market to stock you up. Get comfortable because we start therapy with Katniss tomorrow afternoon." Haymitch declared.

Peeta's eyes shot up, he didn't know if he could handle all of this so soon. He had his fair share of episodes and unfortunately nearly all of them involved her. As much he wanted to get better he knew this was going to be extremely difficult.

Haymitch sensed his apprehension "doctors orders peeta" he looked sympathetic "she's going to hate it as much as you, trust me." And with that he stumbled out of Peeta's new residence.

Peeta stood in his new living room speechless, he glanced out the window and watched as Katniss walked past returning to her own home practically across the street. He froze and immediately experienced a flashback of Katniss in the quarter quell dragging his body to the beach and leaving him there for the Capitol to capture. He fell to the ground reliving every moment of the traumatic experience, real or not real?

Katniss spent most of the night tossing and turning, this wasn't new as she averaged about 4 to 5 hours a sleep per day, never all at once and never all at night. It was a terrible routine she'd fallen into but she found staying awake and feeling exhausted all the time was substantially better than the visions that constantly came to her in her sleep.

She watched as the sky grew lighter, changing from dark purple to light blue through the rising sun. She finally rose from her bed to start her daily routine of sitting in the shower letting the scalding hot water fall over her for nearly an hour just so she could feel something, followed by dressing and heading downstairs brew tea that she would never drink and then sit at her kitchen table and stare into the day. She would do this until Greasy Sae came bearing food she wouldn't eat or Haymitch came bearing advice she wouldn't take.

Today Haymitch came first, knocking before entering as usual. He sat down across from her almost identically as the day before, but today was slightly different, he didn't completely reek of booze today just a slight musk.

He sat down at the table encountering the familiar scene. "How are you doing sweetheart?" he asked semi-rhetorically.

Katniss barely managed a glance in his direction, but for the first time in a while she had questions for him, even though she kept them to herself.

"Cheeky as usual I see" he took the liberty in answering for her. "Listen, I need you be in some sort of working state at 4pm today" he politely demanded.

He looked towards him this time wondering why on earth he would be asking her to be doing anything, he hadn't done this since they both returned. The most he ever asked of her was to eat and sleep.

"What?" she managed barely above a whisper. This caught his attention.

"Peeta's doctor has sent ahead some therapy plans for him… and you" he paused "he has been in contact with your doctor that you've been ignoring and they both agree…" another pause "and I do too, that this could be beneficial for both of you."

Katniss opened her mouth but no words came out. What could he possibly know, the last thing she wanted was to see Peeta up close and personal. She wasn't ready, it was selfish but she knew this was going to be an intense encounter and she could barely handle nightmares she knew weren't real. This was all too real.

"You'll be fine" he continued, "I'll be there for the first few sessions to make sure everything is capable of running smoothly. It'll be short to begin, just 30 minutes. We all know how difficult this will for both of you and the last thing either of you need is extra stress on top of what you have already been going through."

Katniss wanted to scream but couldn't find the energy. Half of her wanted to talk to him but the other half so adamantly didn't that it made her physically shake. Haymitch noticed this reaction.

"It's just as hard for him, if not harder. Just remember that. You've always been strong Katniss, no need to stop now." He grinned half-heartedly knowing better than ever that no audible response would come from her.

He waiting a moment "We'll be by in a few hours, get some rest" he said sincerely.

The realization that this was going to happen hit her all at once, she spoke on reflex.

"I can't do this," her voice was shaky due to lack of use "I can't be his trigger, I can't be the person to save him OR hurt him Haymitch. Please…" she faultered, "please don't make me do this." The old Katniss would have fought back but the post-war Katniss could only pray for mercy, as strong as she was she knew she didn't have the strength to refuse Peeta if he was in front of her, she could only hope not to face him.

Haymitch considered for a moment before taking a long swig from his flask. "Katniss, he needs you." He said blatantly "and from the looks of it you need him too."

_In future chapters I will start to alternate POV's to get more of grasp. Hope you enjoyed and there is more to come very soon. Thank you again for the quick love!_


	3. We're Broken

Peeta was doing pushups in the living room when Haymitch entered his old home in Victor's Village, he paused briefly to acknowledge his presence but continued his process. He had found solace in routines ever since his liberation from the Capitol. It had started out by him having to have nearly every hour of his day planned out, he needed this to avoid any long periods of boredom that would ultimately lead him to lapse into an episode.

Over time he was able to have some free mental space without breaking down, he started filling it with painting and exercise, now that he was back in Twelve he was looking forward getting back to baking as well. It wasn't the manliest of hobbies but it was something he remembered and he remembered it well, he was hoping that it would spark some other good memories from before. But for now he would take it slow and just keep to his basic schedule which was a 3 mile jog in the morning followed by 10 sets of crunches and pushups, he found the endorphins from working out helped his mood.

He finished his final set and stood up, beads of sweat dripping from his brow and breathing heavy. "Hi"

Haymitch looked at him with a semi-amused expression. "How you feeling?" he asked reaching for his flask tucked away in his coat.

"Fine" Peeta breathed out, sitting back down to start another set of crunches. He was only half lying, being away from the Capitol, doctor's appointments and everyone who knew exactly what happened to him felt freeing. But he couldn't help but wonder if this feeling would last, or if it would change as soon as he had to start facing the very reason he was allowed back to Twelve in the first place. All he knew is that he wanted it to last, he wanted to get better.

Haymitch rolled his eyes, "so I'm going to stop by this afternoon and we are going to head over to Katniss' place" he stated blankly.

Peeta paused mid crunch and looked as though he was going to protest, but he just continued on.

"You both start the sessions today, 4pm" he took a healthy swig.

Peeta finished his final set and stood up again, he recalled what his doctor had told him. After months of therapy sessions, the inability to sleep, and mind crippling the episodes of rage and terror it was clear something different had to be done. It was revealed that all the work they had done would be worthless if he couldn't face down the issues he had with his memories of Katniss. She was such a large part of his life that without her he would never be fully mended.

"Yeah ok" was his only response, he knew he wasn't ready but then again he didn't know if he ever would be, better sooner than later.

Haymitch was a little taken aback with Peeta's whole demeanor on the topic, he assumed he was just playing it cool because he knew this was going to be nerve racking at best for both of them. Hell even Haymitch was worried about he would react this whole process.

"Well ok then, see you at 4" the mentor turned and walked out. He felt as if he should have said more but figured there would be enough talking later.

Peeta watched as Haymitch left. His mind was running as fast as his heart was now, he had made of habit of trying not to show emotion on the outside and he had grown quite good at it. He quickly ran through scenarios of what that afternoon might bring him but none of them really mattered because no matter what they all began with finally seeing Katniss, face to face, after all this time.

He resigned himself to take a shower and try to calm down a bit before the session that afternoon, but he knew no amount of preparation would leave him ready, not for her, not after everything in the past whether it was real or not.

Katniss sat curled up on her couch as she watched the minutes tick by on the clock on the wall. She had been restless since Haymitch had visited her that morning and told about the first session to occur at 4pm - which was now only 10 ticks away on the clock she was staring at, she was silently willing it to freeze.

She had paced her home all morning, wondering what she would say or even if she would be able to say anything at all. The whole time during and after the war Peeta was always in the back of her mind but she never really thought about what would happen if he was brought to the front, which he very much so was now.

She thought about the victory tour before the quarter quell when she first started to realize the thing between them was more than just an act. Visions of their interactions flashed through her mind like a highlight reel, with each and every new image brought with it a new pang of guilt. She didn't think she would ever be able to forgive herself for letting him get captured. She touched her lips remembering the last time they saw each other in person before the war, she had kissed him before she left to lead the coil to the beach, that kiss was anything but an act.

She was shook out of flashback by the knocking on her door. Shivers immediately shot down her spine and she froze, she knew Haymitch usually just walked in when she didn't answer and was hopin this time wouldn't be any different. No such luck, the knocking continued in intervals two to three times more before Katniss finally rose from her chair and made her way slowly down the hallway to the front door. She was nearly shaking when she reached for the handle to open the door. She paused and took a deep breath "you can do this… you have to do this" she whispered to herself.

She opened the door to find the two men standing there. Haymitch did not look amused for having to wait, Peeta looked indifferent and was adamantly avoiding direct eye contact.

"Did you get lost?" Haymitch commented as he brushed passed her, Peeta followed obediently.

Katniss shut the door after the two had past her, she leaned her forehead against the door as she did so and took another deep breath. Peeta in her home after all the time was a little too much but it was too late to do anything about it at this point.

She could hear Haymitch heading for the living room, as she entered behind them he was sitting on the couch and Peeta in one of the chairs facing Haymitch, she knew her spot would be next to him in the other chair. Atleast she wouldn't have to be face to face with him. She slowly made her way to her chair and slumped down quietly, her emotions were peaking and she didn't know how to react as it had been many months since she had felt much of anything but cathartic.

Haymitch finally spoke up after what seemed like a very long period of silence. He made a point to look at each of the other victors until they made eye contact with him. He still reeked of booze as usual but his demeanor was that of worried but serious.

"I know both of you don't really want to be doing this right now" Haymitch started.

Katniss looked down at her hands, but Peeta spoke up "I do." He said adamantly. Katniss' eyes shot to him, she had absolutely no idea how to react to that.

Haymitch cocked his eyebrow, "ok I know one of you really doesn't want to be doing this" he gave a sideways glance to Katniss.

"We are going to start slow. It'll be simple today, this is mostly to help Peeta with the memories of people that were a part of both of your lives before and during the games. And for Katniss, well this is for you to start communicating again." He paused hoping for some type of reaction from either of them but nothing.

"Ok we'll do a few names to start then." Haymitch took out a list. "Peeta you'll go first, a memory from the games of Effie please" he looked to Peeta as he fished for the flash in his jacket.

Peeta exhaled and straightened in his chair. "Um, before the quell…" he was a little shaky. He thought about Effie and her ridiculous outfits, the capitol didn't tarnish of those memories they focused mostly on Katniss so this was technically an easy one but this whole situation put him off quite a bit. He needed it though, to be near her, to act somewhat normal. "Effie gave us all gold keepsakes to match Katniss' mockingjay pin…it was nice of her… she wanted us to be a team." He stammered, but finished.

Katniss felt more pangs of guilt as she remembered the gold gift Effie had given Peeta, she remembered it from the beach when he showed her the pictures inside. She shook her head to try and focus.

"Very good Peeta" Haymitch meant it, he then turned to Katniss "your turn sweetheart" willing her to speak.

She looked at Haymitch and then to Peeta who was staring at the ground in front of her. Her mouth had gone dry and her mind blank, why was this so hard? She remembered Effie perfectly but for some reason she couldn't remember words. It was probably because she hadn't spoken nearly any in the past three months. But she had to do this, she tried to convince herself it was for Peeta but she knew the reason it was so difficult was because it was for herself. She searched for a memory and the words to describe it with no avail.

"Just say something Katniss" she heard Peeta mumble.

Another round of shock set in, it also came to her attention that these were the first words he had spoken to her since he'd been back. They didn't even exchange Hello's when she had answered the door, this all seemed extremely forced all of a sudden. A familiar emotion surfaced, this time anger and with it came audible words.

"This is ridiculous! Would you like to know a memory I have of Effie, I remember finding out that she didn't make it through the war. That's right she's dead just like all those people you have on your little list that the doctors sent home to try and fix us with by talking about it. You know what will fix this" she was growing angrier and more animated by the second, she motioned between herself and Peeta "Nothing!, It's Broken! They broke us… I broke us…" she began to falter at the end. She could feel the familiar tears start to build but it like this time she wouldn't be able to hold them back.

She quickly looked between the two men who both looked at her wide eyed, Haymitch's eyes filled with drunken worry and Peeta's with what looked like utter disbelief at her reaction. She put her head in her hands, she couldn't believe the outburst herself, "I can't do this" she quickly stood "I'm sorry" she stole a glance at Peeta then walked towards the front door to exit her own home leaving to the two men behind.

She turned left and out of Victor's Village not sure where she was going but knew she needed to get far away, she needed to clear her head. It was late afternoon in early spring, she started off towards the only place she knew no one would bother her.

Peeta remained seated in the chair facing Haymitch. "That went well" he said, attempting to joke but his tone betrayed him. When he had walked into her home ten minutes ago he had no idea how this was going to play out but one of the last scenarios he had played through in his head was Katniss leaving before answering even one question.

He replayed her outburst a few times, he remembered that Katniss from before the games. The emotional Katniss, the girl who spoke what was one her mind without really thinking it through, he felt a hint of hidden fondness for that trait. Maybe it was real.

"It went as well as expected" Haymitch stated before he took another swig from his flask.

"How's that, she left"

"But she got angry, I haven't seen her show that kind of emotion in a very long time" he began to put away the notebook.

"So that's it then" Peeta asked, he had to admit he was only half way upset. Just seeing her was an accomplishment for the day but he wanted more. He had come all the way, gone through all the therapies, taken all the pills, he had done everything they asked of him so he could come back and figure her out and now it seemed further away from possible than when he was in the Capitol.

"For now, yes. She might never come around to this therapy thing, it's never been her style. But it's good with you here even if it doesn't seem like it." Haymitch stood up getting ready to leave, he took a few steps before turning back. "How are you Peeta?"

Peeta looked up "I'm fine, it's hard to think about all of those peop…"

"No Peeta, I mean how are you after seeing her?" Haymitch interrupted.

Peeta shook his head trying to think of the right way to respond. "I know how I want to feel about her, but…" he trailed off into thought again.

Haymitch nodded. "Don't give up on her. Once upon a time you loved her, whether you remember it or not." He didn't wait for an answer before he turned to exit.

Peeta looked up again just in time to see him walking away. He opened his mouth to respond but stopped. He leaned forward in his chair, he wasn't surprised by Haymitch's words. He'd known for quite some time that he had loved her in the past but the Capitol had done quite a number on him so he could only imagine how she was now after everything that had happened. He knew he was a different person, but he knew he came back for her, just to see her even if they didn't end up together he had to see her, he needed closure.

He sat in her living room lost in thought until the daylight ran out. There was something about sitting in her house that comforted him slightly, at least enough to sit and truly think about what he want and what he needed to do if he was going to stay in Victor's Village. He lost track of time because before he knew it her heard the door open and close.

Before he was able to react or even come up with an excuse as to why he was still sitting in her house she was staring at him from the hallway. He looked at her, she looked exhausted it was obvious her last two hours were not as calming as his.

"Hey" was all he managed.

_More to come soon, thanks for the reviews. Hope you are all enjoying it, it is just about to get quite a bit better. For the record I'm taking a few liberties but it is my intention to keep it mostly canon and angst-y. Enjoy!_


	4. Ill See You Soon

_Thanks for the reviews and likes on this one. It's starting to get there I promise more to come often. It will start to move forward quite quickly after this, so lets get into it._

Katniss had taken off towards the woods after she had left the scene of Haymitch's so called therapy session at her home. She had been dreading it since Peeta's arrival and she was hoping she'd be able to at least fake her way through but as soon as she saw Peeta standing at her door it became all too real. But it was when he spoke, hearing his words, in person – just shook her harder than she expected. She exploded and left her home without any thought on the matter, just gut reaction.

She had spent the last hour sitting at her lake, the place she used to go before the games, before the war. She hadn't been back to her quiet spot since she returned but she found herself there now with her mind at ease. When she had taken off from her house so many different emotions were coursing through her but when she finally reached her destination almost everything in her went silent.

She sat on a perch overlooking the stillness of the lake in the early spring for what she thought was only a few minutes but when she saw the sun beginning to set in the distance she know it had been much longer than that. It had been a long time since her mind was silent, no flashbacks, no worrying, no guilt. She had no idea how it was possible especially under the circumstances that brought her there, but she was more than grateful and quite hesitant to leave but knew she should head back making sure to promise herself more visits to her lake. As we set back towards victor's village she was finally able to think with somewhat of clear head. She replayed her outburst and while she was a little embarrassed about the dramatics she felt very strongly about the words she used.

She meant it all, she couldn't be fixed through some ridiculous flash cards and talking about her feelings and she sure as hell couldn't do it in front of Peeta. They hadn't even spoken yet, whose bright idea was it to put them in a room and talk about bad memories the first time they see each other in almost a year. She could feel her emotions begin to rise again as she came closer to town. Her mind wandered still this time to Peeta, he looked well she thought. As well as anyone who had been through what he had and survived. He was a bit taller, his hair was shaggier than usual but his eyes still fiercely blue. She knew once she saw him at the train station the day before that those eyes would forever haunt her.

She was still mentally lost in those blue eyes as she entered her home, she shed herself of her coat and hung before trudging down the hallway. She was shocked when she turned the corning to see Peeta still sitting in the seat she left him in hours ago, her breath caught in her throat which brought his eyes to hers. He looked a little started himself but she couldn't see why, this was her house.

"Hey" he said quickly but calmly.

Katniss searched the room, she expected to find Haymitch as well but there was no one but Peeta.

"Hi" she responded weakly, still taken completely off guard.

Peeta looked at her, she was obviously unsure of what to think of the whole scene. He couldn't blame her, he didn't really have a reasonable excuse other than he just never left. He had been thinking about her since she left, what she meant to the rest of his recovery, why he was back, what he needed from district 12. He found himself wanting to explain his actions even though they were still a bit of a mystery to him as well.

"Sorry, I guess I didn't really have anywhere else to be" he half grinned, trying to ease some of the evident tension.

Katniss just nodded.

Peeta was hoping this wouldn't be to one sided but it wasn't looking promising. "ummm, can we talk?"

Katniss felt her nerves on edge again for at least the third time today. She nodded again "sure".

"Do you want to sit?" he gestured to the couch across from him.

She nodded again and slowly made her way to the couch, she sat on the edge leaning against the arm.

Peeta knew he should ease into this conversation but didn't really know how to "where did you run off to?" he asked.

Katniss looked to the ground knowing she couldn't keep silent this whole time. "nowhere really, just had to not be here" she admitted.

Peeta shook his head in agreement "yeah, I know" he looked around the room.

"i'm sorry, I shouldn't have reacted that way." Katniss finally spoke up, though her voice was shaky.

"it's fine Katniss… this isn't easy for either of us"

Katniss felt guilty again as silence took over. It was quite a few moments until the two made eye contact and Peeta finally spoke again.

"Listen, Katniss. I'd be lying if I told you I haven't thought about this moment for a very long time." He paused, Katniss seemed very alert at this point. "I've always wondered what it would be like to see you again, after everything… it's took everything in me to not come pounding on your door last night."

"Peeta…" she started to apologize but Peeta quickly interrupted her

"Just… just let me say this before I can't" He looked to her, she nodded apprehensively.

"I loved you." He exhaled as he said this, his shoulders sunk as if a weight had been lifted. He didn't try and make eye contact at this point. "I know I did, but the Capitol… they… they… they took that away from me. Now when I think about… you... I feel like I'm being physically torn apart… " he paused, he was holding back flashbacks she could tell "between about how I really feel…felt, and how they wanted me to see you… let me tell you they did a really good job on me"

Katniss had placed her hand over her mouth to hide her reaction, she could feel her eyes watering as well. She thought seeing him in person today was a shock to her system, well this a bomb being dropped, she had an idea about his feelings but never would she expect him to come out at say it all in the first real conversation they had in who knows how long.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is… the only reason I came back, was for you" He looked to her now "Not to… be with you… I don't know… I just…I have everything else figured out and under some sort of control, it's hard, really hard but I can handle it. The only thing I can't handle is not knowing" He half way waited to see if she had something to say, but nothing.

"I'm not expecting anything from you, but I had to come and see for myself. So when you're ready to talk, like really talk…. You know where I'll be" he said with a bit of finality. He stood up.

Katniss opened her mouth to say something but for what felt like the tenth time that day no words were able to come.

Peeta knew this would be difficult but he felt somewhat at ease for getting his intentions out in the open. "I'll let Haymitch know that we decided to stop the sessions for now." He grabbed his coat off the back of the chair.

"thank you" Katniss finally choked out.

Peeta nodded in her direction, "I'll see you soon?" he asked hopefully.

"of course" she replied, the shakiness still very evident her voice.

With that Peeta started down the hallway towards the front door, when he reached for the handle he heard Katniss call his name. When he turned he saw her walking slowly towards him, when she was finally just a foot away she stopped and hesitantly made eye contact. She then slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a weak hug, it took Peeta a moment to register what was happening but when he finally did he wrapped his arms around her lower back and pulled her tightly.

The two stood for a few moments in the embrace, it was full of comfort and little else. They both silently enjoyed the embrace that they both had secretly needed since they saw each other for the first time only 24 hours earlier. Katniss' head rested on his shoulder, "I've missed you" she said barely above a whisper. He heard and squeezed her tightly one last time before letting go, stepping back and opening the door.

"Goodnight Katniss" he said as he exited.

She shut the door behind him and leaned her back against it as she sunk to the ground and pulled her knees to her chest. Her world was just turned on its side, she had thought she had fallen into a routine - as bleak as it was - that she could follow and fake living on and then he comes in and breaks it into a thousand pieces.

As Peeta descended the steps from Katniss home and walked the twenty yards across the courtyard to his own he could feel his body buzzing. He was feeling a new emotion he hadn't felt in a very long time, he felt the tiny pangs of happiness. They were still quite a bit confusing, was it because of Katniss and his old feelings or was it because he was finally reunited with someone who survived the same things he did, a sense of friendship that he couldn't share with anyone else.

By the time he entered his new home he nearly felt inspired. He opened a closet that had the things he had requested, paints, brushes and canvased filled the small area. He quickly pulled out the necessary materials and set up a small canvas in the corner of his living room. He started a fire and began to paint, mindlessly without any intention. It stayed painting for the rest of the night, knowing full well his sleep would be full of nightmares after all the contact with Katniss. He was truly hoping that being around her, in real life, would help end those horrendous visions that haunted him on a near daily basis.

Katniss tossed and turned in her bed that evening. She didn't even know why she tried anymore and especially not after the day she had. She could honestly say however that she felt more alive than she had in a quite a while, having Peeta back seemed to have lit the fire that had gone out long ago. And while the flame is was far from roaring the spark had ignited and it made Katniss feel like she had to do something about it, unlike her normal feelings of just making it through the day staring at the wall stirring cold tea. She made a plan to return to the lake again the next day, and thought seriously about permanently adding it to her packed schedule but figured at this point she just be taking things one day at a time.

She stirred awake for the third time that evening in the early hours of the morning and her thoughts strayed back to Peeta and his words to her earlier that evening. It was the first time he had actually admitted to loving her, even if it was past tense. She had known in the back of her mind that he had feelings for her but to hear them now, after everything, it was extremely hard to wrap her head around. She kept replaying all the moments before she saw him last, the last thing she said to him "I'll see you soon" and how he repeated those words that evening but without the confidence.

She slowly rose from bed and walked to the window to glance across the courtyard and to the newly occupied residence. The lights downstairs were one and she found herself lost in thought as to what Peeta could be doing up. She remembered he said things were hard, maybe he had the same nightmares she did. Hell they were probably much worse, after all at least she hadn't been full on tortured for the majority of the war. She shook her head, and pangs of guilt flooded again as she had yet another flashback to their last moments together in the quarter quell, what if she had done things differently. What if they had demanded to stay together how would that have changed everything.

She suddenly had so many questions, she turned and found herself descending her stairs and walking towards her front door. Her intention was to go to him, ask him all the things she had in her head, to apologize for leaving him, so many things had been left unsaid. But mind finally stopped her as she reached for the door handle. What was she thinking, she couldn't just barge over there this was going to take time. She was right when they said they were broken, it couldn't be fixed in a day or randomly in the wee hours of the morning.

She took an exhaustive breath, Peeta returning had turned her head into overdrive. She trudged to her living room and stoked the fire, she curled up on the couch and watch as the flame burned trying to focus on anything but him.

_Posting new chapter soon, I think I got enough plot to do for a few days bring on the good stuff. Thank for all the reviews, they encourage writing for sure. _


	5. I Should Go

Peeta stirred awake from one of his regular nightmares, he rolled over in the bed he had only laid down in about two hours earlier. He knew when he came back and saw her that his visions and nightmares would intensify seeing as she had the starring role in all of them. This particular nightmare was a reoccurring scene in which he is injured and struggling to crawl along the rock walls of the quarter quell. He sees Katniss gathering supplies in the cornucopia and calls to her, when she run to his side seemingly to help him she instead pushes him into the water. The last thing he ever sees before he wakes up coughing is Katniss starting down at him as he sinks deeper in the water, she has a grin on her face that makes it seem like she's enjoying it.

It was those nightmares he was so convinced were real memories only months ago, he had made amazing strides. Although he still suffered daily, after seeing her and speaking with her now in person it was seeming like it might be easier get rid of these fake memories of her by creating new, safer ones in real life. But he also knew that he should never trust things that seemed too good to be true and knew that the battle within him was far from over.

He shook the sleep from his eyes and walked over to his bag he had yet to unpack to change into some running clothes. He did this almost mindlessly as a part of his routine; he loved that he could run outside here as well, and while he was in the Capitol he was stuck on treadmills. The busier he keeps the less he thinks, he quickly changes and heads for the front door. It only takes him ten strides to exit Victor's Village where he plans only to go where ever he ends up.

Katniss had spent most of the early morning working up the energy to make the trip out to her lake, it wasn't that she didn't want to it was just that she found the ability to get up and go was missing. The day before she had an explosion of fear, anger and nerves coursing through her body and she found herself practically running. Today she was yet again dreading venturing outside. She had managed to get dressed and looking presentable but was just standing at the front door staring out the window next to it. She was staring blankly at a tree which was in its early blooming phase, she was only brought back to life when she saw Peeta jogging up the small hill towards Victors Village.

It was as if she reacted reflexively but her hand found the handle to the door and she was descending the steps of her front stoop without a second thought. By the time she reached the middle pathway Peeta was slowing to walk in front of her.

"Hey" he greeted breathlessly.

She was nearly stunned as she couldn't remember what thought process physically brought her outside.

"Hi" she said with a hint of shyness.

He gave a crooked smile, "You're out, Haymitch said you never go out" he said slowly catching his breath.

Katniss was a little embarrassed, yet another emotion she hadn't experience in quite some time.

"Yeah, I can't stay inside forever I guess." She shrugged.

"Good, fresh air clears the head." He placed his hands on his hips till trying to breathe normally; he went all out all morning he ran nearly six miles around the rubble.

"You're a runner now?" She gave him a quick up and down look.

Peeta let out a laugh. "Yeah, endorphins, what can I say."

There was a pause and a moment of awkward silence, but neither really wanted to walk away yet. "where are you headed?" Peeta finally asked."

Katniss shrugged again, she didn't really want to fess up to her mission to the lake. "Just trying that fresh air thing, see how it goes." She said with note of positivity in her voice.

Peeta smiled again, Katniss noted that his blue eyes nearly beamed when he genuinely smiled, it was something she had thought seriously that she would never see again.

"Enjoy it, it's a beautiful day." He said looking up to the sky. "Let me know how that works out for you, I'll see you later?" he said it in way that seemed like this was normal conversation for them to be having. She liked that, it was natural to them even after all they had been through they were capable of feeling comfortable with simply not talking about it.

"ok" she said with a weak smile, she was obviously still the hesitant one out of the two of them, but it wasn't on purpose.

"alright then, see you later." He waved and started towards his house.

Katniss watched him walk away, took a deep breath and started off towards her quiet place to forget about it all.

And that's how it went every morning for the next two weeks; the two would meet up in the court yard, him on his way back from his early morning jog and Katniss on her way to the woods and the lake. They would exchange small talk, often about the weather but sometimes what Peeta saw in town that morning. It was always a short conversation never lasting more than 5 minutes but they had both found it to some part of a new routine for both of them.

Katniss even found herself starting to look forward to it while she would get ready in the morning.

Peeta had starting making note of the time they would meet coincidentally after the second encounter and began purposely making sure he'd return from his run at the same time, every time. It was exactly what he needed right now, not too much, not too little nothing was being rushed but it seemed there was actual progress being made.

He had spoken to Haymitch about the progress he was making while he had been back in 12, eventually Haymitch finally brought up Katniss to him for the first time since the therapy session. _"So what's with you and the girl on fire?" He asked taking a swig._

"_What do you mean?" _

"_I've seen you guys talking in the mornings"_

"_Just talking, is that allowed?"_

"_Of course, I'm just commenting on the fact that before you came she probably spoke less than fifty words. Since you came back… full conversations, every morning. I've gone over to her place many times and she still ignores me for the most part, but you. You she doesn't ignore. I thought you were the one that needed her when you came back but it looks a lot like she's the one that needed you all along." He said obviously heavily plied. _

_Peeta looked to his mentor. He was a little baffled by his bluntness, but Haymitch has never really held back. "It's not like that" was all Peeta was able to say in response. But inside he was secretly hoping it was at least a little bit true, he still didn't really know how deep his feelings for Katniss truly were at this point but he had no complaints with being in her company. _

"_Whatever you say, let's all do dinner then? Tomorrow night, like old times" Haymitch chuckled. It seemed he was amused by Peeta's ignorance when it came to Katniss._

"_Fine" Peeta was wondering what Haymitch was getting at, but he didn't fully object to the idea of dinner. He liked to cook and hadn't done much since he'd been back. _

"_Great, I'll be over at 7." Haymitch took another long swig._

So now he found himself jogging up the path to their courtyard, trying to time it just perfectly to meet up with her just like every other morning. Today he actually felt a little nervous though. He saw her exiting her house and slowed to greet her.

"Morning!" he said a little more cheerfully than he intended to.

Katniss noticed the enthusiasm and half smiled. "Seems like it, how was your run?"

"Um, great… yeah really good. The market is coming together nicely, you should check it out sometime" he rattled off.

Katniss furrowed her brow a bit a little confused but semi intrigued. "Yeah? I'll go running with you tomorrow" she countered.

"Really?" he asked.

"No" she laughed. "I only run If I'm being chased" she joked.

"Well I guess I'll have to chase you then" he teased back, they were both met with a hint of awkward silence.

"We'll see" she simply answered with a grin.

"I'll hold my breath" he smiled in return and waited a moment thinking of how he was going to go about dinner that evening, "hey listen… um Haymitch wants us all together for dinner tonight" he opened, he wait for a reaction. "So, my house 7?" he asked tentatively.

Katniss looked at him for a moment, she was surprised by the fact that she mostly wanted to say yes. "This isn't a ploy by Haymitch to have another 'therapy session' is it?" she asked semi-seriously.

"Not that I know of," he looked to her "but if it is I'll kick him out I promise." He smiled his genuine smile.

Katniss returned a smile and what looked like to Peeta a bit of a blush as well. "ok."

Peeta didn't want to give her a chance to change her mind, he couldn't really explain why he was so excited but he was sure that Haymitch would have a comment on the matter. "Perfect, see you then." He reached out and touched her shoulder before turning to his home, neither of them acknowledged the goose bumps they both felt but they were there.

At 6pm, Peeta started preparing the dinner. It was nothing incredibly special, just some rabbit stew, salad and an assortment of baked goods he had start after his workout that morning. It was nearly ready when he heard the first knock on the door, he went to answer and found Katniss waiting on the other side. She was early.

"Hey, come on in." He stepped aside a let her follow him to the kitchen.

"Smells good" she commented.

"Thanks I tried" he smiled and went to take the stew off the stove.

Katniss had spent the morning at her lake contemplating what to do in this situation, she could tell that him be a presence in her life had made obvious changes for the better. She was now leaving her home, eating somewhat regularly and for the most part not dreading every day as it came. Of course the nightmares were still heavily present and certain topics were still very touchy but since he came back she had the hope that things could, and possibly would get better. It was more than any therapist or pills could have done and it came naturally when Peeta was involved.

She watched him as he worked deftly finishing up dinner for the three of him; he looked like he loved doing this. Taste testing, checking his watch, moving things around his well-appointed kitchen, this seemed like his element. She would give anything to find her element again; everything still seemed a little out of place in her life. He reached into a cupboard to grab plates and bowls, he handed them to Katniss.

"Can you handle the table?" he asked holding out the plates in front of him.

"No faith" she joked as she reached out to take to the plates from him. The hands touched as this happened and it was the second round of goose bumps in the same day. Again they both ignored. Katniss set the table for three in no time. She returned to Peeta on his side of the kitchen and leaned against the counter opposite him and watched as he finished his preparations. He seemed oblivious.

He took a spoon and sampled the rabbit stew, then scooped up another serving to bring over to Katniss.

"Be honest" he said as he held the spoon out just in front of her lips, his other hand under it watch for drips.

She looked into his blue eyes, this seemed far too normal. She timidly parted her lips and leaned forward and allowed the Peeta to let her taste what was to be their dinner.

"hmmm, very good." She said licking her lips.

Peeta watched as she did this and was transfixed by her reaction, he couldn't help himself but to stare at her lips. He took a step forward after setting the spoon on the counter behind her, the space between them was shrinking. Katniss just watched as he moved closer and licked her lips again.

"Katniss" he said barely above a whisper.

Before they could move any closer however an extremely loud bang echoed through the house, it was Haymitch announcing his arrival on the front door. Peeta nearly jumped away from Katniss and took off down the hallway to let Haymitch in. When he answered he was welcomed with an already drunk Haymitch yielding a cask of wine as his dinner offering.

"Right on time, I'm shocked"

"I brought party favors though" Haymitch chuckled as he walked past him straight towards the kitchen. That was one thing about Victors Village; all of the houses were identical when it came to the floor plan. The décor differed quite a bit but everything else was the same, all three knew their way around.

When Haymitch entered the kitchen he saw Katniss bringing the bread to the table and taking a seat.

"How domestic of you, my girl on fire" he chuckled again as he nearly fell into his seat. Katniss ignored his regular antics as Peeta brought the rest of the meal to the table and allowed everyone to serve themselves.

Haymitch took it upon himself to fill his fellow Victors' glasses with the red wine he had brought along with him. Both refused at first but after Haymitch insisted it would be only one glass they both reluctantly agreed, what harm could it do. It was surprisingly good wine as well. The dinner part of dinner went off quite well; Haymitch behaved other than pouring the two of them a second glass when they had adamantly declined more than once. The conversation itself had steered clear of anything controversial and they were mostly talking of older times, times before the war when they all lived their own relatable lives. There was even laughter at a few points throughout the evening, but all good things had to come to an end.

Haymitch poured the last drops of his cask into his cup before speaking up. "So what's going on with you two?" he asked outright. Immediately the awkward silence struck, Katniss and Peeta looked to each other then to Haymitch.

"You're drunk, why don't you pack it up and take it home for the night" Peeta tried to calm the situation.

Haymitch looked between them both. "You guys sharing beds again yet?" he pried even deeper.

"Haymitch that's enough." Katniss stated, not know what the hell he was getting at but she getting more agitated by the moment.

"Whoa whoa calm down. This is a doctor question" he slurred. "I just recalling both of you having nightmares on the victory tour, are you both still having them" he nearly fell out of his chair.

Peeta was waiting to see if Katniss was going have another outburst, but the nightmare topic seemed to touch quite close to home, it did with him as well. "Haymitch you know we both suffer from them, why don't we call this a night." Peeta pleaded trying to bring an end to a decent evening before it got too deep for all of them to handle.

Haymitch silenced for a moment, again looking between the two of them. "Hear me out boys and girls. I remember a time when I used to hear both of you screaming through your nightmares nightly on the train, and I know the screaming stopped when you started sleeping in the same bed. Now I'm not speculating what when on in that bed" he looked to Katniss especially, "but I know sleep came easier to both of you. Think about it… because you both still look like you haven't slept in days…" his tone more serious now. "I would also like to point out that this had to be brought up because you both have decided to pass on the therapy sessions" he said as sort of an apology and justification at the same time. Silence fell over the table again and Katniss and Peeta were avoiding any sort of eye contact at this point.

"Right well, I think my work here is done. Peeta thank you for the meal, it was delicious." He turned to Katniss as he stood "Katniss, thank you for eating it." With that he turned at left the two sitting lost in their own thoughts about the bomb he had just dropped on them. Peeta knew from the beginning there was an ulterior motive, but this… this was unexpected.

They remained in silence until the sound of the front door closing snapped them back to the present. Katniss was without a doubt annoyed with Haymitch but could not shake the thought that what he just said was true. She now looked to Peeta trying to search his expression, she couldn't tell if he remembered that part of their life or not. She cleared her throat.

Peeta looked over to her, he didn't really know what to think. He had not forgotten the nightmares, but now the new memory of them comforting each other during the victory tour was resonating through is mind, there was no question that it was real. He couldn't come up with any words to make this situation less awkward, his immediate reaction was to stand up and start clearing the table.

Katniss chose to stand up and help clear the table, she brought over a hand full of dishes and set them on the counter next to his sink where he had already started to wash them.

"I should probably get going" she said and barely waited a moment for a response before she was walked towards the door.

Peeta turned the water off and placed his hands on the ledge, letting his head drop in what felt like frustration. His mind was screaming at him to let her go, that if she stayed any longer things would only get complicated and that was the last thing either of them needed. His body however was acting on its own accord and he turned to follow her to the door mere moments behind her.

Katniss had reached the coat hook near the door and was lifting her arms to grab her jacket when she heard him behind her. She had tried to make a quick exit, she wanted to avoid confronting the emotions she was reeling from after recalling how they were there for each other, or more how he was there for her during the victory tour and before the quell. The feelings of guilt returned again but this time they came accompanied with feelings of want, she wanted to be near him and that just couldn't do right now. They both weren't ready.

"Katniss" she heard him whisper. She turned slowly, he was inches in front her.

"I should go" she said barely audible, her voice betraying her. She couldn't help but look to his lips then to his eyes and back again. Everything her mind was telling her body to do was getting lost in translation somehow but she was glued to her spot, transfixed on the proximity of Peeta to her.

"Please don't" he inched closer, their foreheads nearly touching.

Katniss remained frozen but her lips parted instinctively. Peeta could feel his body trembling, he finally leaned in, the tips of their noses brushed slightly and it felt like an electric shock between them. He tilted his head, their lips touched teasingly. Katniss' breath caught her throat while Peeta's breathing grew heavy as he timidly brought her top lip in between his.

They stayed like that for a moment, nothing touching between them besides the slight touch of their lips. Peeta pulled back and willed Katniss to look him in the eye, when she did and showed no signs of running away so slowly leaned in again. This time Katniss met him halfway with an equally timid kiss, they were both far too afraid of what this could do to their already fragile relationship, but they couldn't help themselves.

Peeta tentatively brought a hand up to cup her cheek, he took a small step forward to deepen the kiss, he could have sworn he heard Katniss sigh against his lips but his heart was beating far too loudly. He felt Katniss place a hand over his on her cheek…

**BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.**

There was a loud knocking on the front door that they were standing right next to, causing them to literally jump apart.

"PEETA! OPEN UP!" Haymitch yelled from the other side of the door.

Peeta looked to Katniss her cheeks were flushed and he was startled. He went to unlock and open the door, it sounded urgent.

"What?" he asked flustered as he was met with an equally flustered Haymitch.

"Sorry kid, left my flask." He said calmly as he breezed past the two towards the kitchen.

"Are you kidding me!?" Peeta yelled after him, obviously aggravated. He looked to Katniss who had a hand over her mouth and she looked shocked. Peeta was immediately worried that they had crossed a line.

Haymitch returned, flask in hand and exited with nothing but a glance in their direction. "Thanks" he said as exited leaving the door ajar behind him.

This was all too much for Katniss she turned to grab her coat of the hook and walked towards the door. Peeta stepped into her path; he didn't want to let her leave without knowing if everything was ok between them.

"Peeta, I should really go." She said avoiding eye contact and trying to get past him.

"Katniss, I'm just as scared as you are" he said shuffling to the side trying not to let her pass. She ignored his comment. "You can't tell me that was just me" he pleaded.

Katniss breathed a heavy sigh, he was right she definitely felt it. But that was all the reason she needed to get out of there. "Please." Was her final response.

Peeta reluctantly stepped aside and Katniss practically bolted outside and across the courtyard, he watched her all the way to her door and wait till she shut her before he finally shut his with a slam.

"FUCK!"

_And it starts, thanks for the reviews and all the rest. Updates to come soon!_


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